A Stranger In A Strange Place

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She stepped off the airplane and inhaled. The air was different. It was new. She pinched herself, thinking that this must be a dream. She just couldn't bring herself to believe that she left her home, her country, even the comfort of the United States of America to step foot in a land unbeknownst to her. A land whose language she barely knew.

Oh believe it honey, her subconscious said.

She forced herself to move. Step after step just her, her backpack and the $1200 that was somewhere on her body. $1200 that was somehow supposed to help her survive for three months in a place she knew no one.

Before the move she joked that she would place a "please feed me" button on her blog but this shit started to look real.

One breath at a time. One step at a time. One day...at a time, she thought.

As she stood before the metal building that in no way looked like an airport, she went to turn back. She thought to run, run as fast as she could back to the airplane, back to a home that had nothing left for her. But she didn't. She took a deep breath and said "Taxi!"

_______________________________________

For so long I have dreamt of running away; to just pack my bag and leave without saying a word.
You may think it's quite selfish, but I think it's quite necessary.
I have always had a problem with remaining stagnant.
I seek growth. I seek adventure.
I have never wanted to be in one place all of my life feeling like I'm being suffocated and held back.
I've been planning for years on the ultimate getaway but I think with planning, I became more and more afraid to act as the days went by. Picking up and leaving doesn't sound doable either but it has to be.
There has to be more to life!
Has anyone ever felt like running away?

On a lighter and happier note...



I live in The Bahamas...on an island, and I think I often make this known but sometimes I forget how relaxing the beach can be. We islanders tend to take the beach for granted because, well, it's always there.

I needed a quick getaway without really getting away, so on my day off, I decided to pack my tote and Bailey into the car and drive to the beach.



Because it's not Summer (or a Sunday) the beach was basically abandoned, just the way I like it. It gives me time to be alone with my thoughts. Time to soak in the true beauty of this particular part of my island and Bailey has the entire beach to run around on (although he preferred to lounge under the sea-grape tree with me most of the time).

I didn't take loads of photos. I just wanted to enjoy being there. 

Mission accomplished.



What's your favorite non-getaway, getaway?

XO |EESH

Scars


I'm currently sitting in Wendy's, deep in thought. The car ride was kind of intense this morning and it had left a bitter taste in my mouth...so to speak and a story in my heart. Hope you like.


These scars. They remind me of everything.

Every insult.
Every backlash.
Every hurt.
Every blame.
Every time I cried myself to sleep...

I used to hate her but hate became too exhausting, so, I let her cut and slash, deeper still until there was nothing left. Until my body was marked completely. Until I became art that was weird and twisted and not in a Picasso kind of way. Art that made you go "what the fuck?" and walk away never comprehending how the result came to be.

She stabbed and sliced and never stopped because, shit, I let her. I was so weak that I gave her that power. The power to give an opinion when her opinion never should have mattered. The power to feel like she had...power.

Maybe her aim was to break me. Maybe she hates me just as much as I hate her... 
Used to hate her.


Sigh. Hate is exhausting.

But she instilled it in me. Every time she purposely tore me down. Every time she expected something from me that I just couldn't give. Every time she manipulated me. Every time she smiled and pretended to love me. Maybe she tried to love me.

Maybe.

I was never her favorite. I will never be her favorite. Shit. She shouldn't even have favorites.

We're all supposed to be equal, right?

You'd think she'd know.

Yet she continues to make me feel like an outsider, like a mistake, like a house nigger. Oh God, this just got real.

But these scars, they will always remind me.

But...these scars have also made me stronger and wiser.

These scars...



XO |EESH

love, FiRE Junior's Geometric Print Maxi


"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection"
 - Buddha -

*this is not a sponsored post 
(and Blogger is fucking up my image sizes, I apologize)


The beautiful thing about living in The Bahamas is that we don't really experience extreme cold weather. As much as I'd love to strut around in a gorgeous pea-coat and a pair of thigh high boots, I'm quite fine with a maxi dress and flats.

Last year, lace/crochet/sheer dresses seemed to be in heavy rotation and I too wanted a part of the action. I've always been in love with lace and crochet because I found the material to be ultra feminine so naturally I took a liking to this dress when I saw it.




At first I wasn't too sure about this because the straps are thin and the dress kind of clings to the body. Being heavy chested, I have to carefully consider the pieces I purchase. However, this dress makes me feel sexy and definitely brought up my confidence level. 




Although love, FiRE is a junior's line, they embody exactly what I'm looking for in most of their pieces especially for the upcoming Spring & Summer seasons. (Plus I'm kinda petite so I can still fit junior's haha). Their vibe is so boho chic. It's cute and relaxed all at the same time. Also, we all know how cheap frugal I am so you know those prices are just right!




I'm happy to have discovered love, FiRE and I'm excited about purchasing from them in the future.

What are your thoughts on sheer pieces?



XO |EESH





Untitled


Every now and again, I share a really short story I've written that relates to real life issues. Writing is my happy place. It soothes my spirit and calms my soul. I'm not even sure what to call this one but I hope you like it.

via
She sat quietly, the dark surrounding her waiting for the headlights to pry through her window. An hour before, she checked herself in the mirror for the millionth time, reassuring herself that she looked amazing in the emerald green and black lace corset and matching boy shorts.
Twenty minutes, he said.
She put on her most seductive smile and highest heels and waited.
An hour passed and no one came.
She sat quietly.
The dark surrounding her.
She grabbed her phone. 'Where are you?' She asked. 
His response? 
'I don't want to make the drive anymore.'
She stood in the middle of a dark room and undressed, cursing herself for her expectations, knowing damn well that expectations always end in disappointment.
Her tears hit the floor as quickly as her clothing did.
To her, saying I love you meant everything but to him it meant nothing. 
To her, swimming to the end of the earth was nothing if it meant that she would make him happy. Maybe that was the problem. 
She would do anything for him. He knew that. 
But he made her feel as if she wasn't even worth the effort. 
And because of that, he will never know what it's like to be loved by a woman who would give her all.
A woman who would bare her soul just to love him the way she believes he deserves to be loved.
And just like that, he missed out on a love so pure, a love so rare...
a love he may never find again.

I would love your suggestions for a name.


XO |EESH