It's once again that time of year when family, friends and all that you love gather together to celebrate the holidays. Except the one that you really really did love. That's right...lé ex. Now you're stuck in a room full of relatives or friends all firing that one question at you, "where's so & so"? I know, you're just one "For Christ's Sake, Leave Me The Hell Alone" and a fake smile away from either snapping or bawling your eyes out. Being recently single, in a few days I'm about to face the firing squad that is my family who are widely known for their facial expressions, mainly the (fake) sympathy head tilt with furrowed eyebrows. Cue in the hand over the chest and a random "oh". Unfortunately, this isn't the only part of the holiday season that's going to be quite shitty. There's the reminder of everything you did with your partner, so here is how I plan to deal.
Gift Giving: You no longer have to pick your partner's brain about what he wants or enlist the help of his friends or pay special attention to what he's paying special attention to. You won't have to worry about whether your gift sucks or if he'll even like it or use it. Instead, purchase a gift for yourself. Have that gift wrapped and open that bugga on Christmas morn with a smile and a cup of hot chocolate and wish yourself a holly jolly Christmas!
Here's another way to make you feel good; put a smile on someone else's face this holiday season. I didn't plan to mention this because I'm a big believer of doing good in secret. My church recently completed something called The Wise Men Operation, where if we chose to, took a shoe box and filled it with items on the list they gave us as well as whatever else we wanted to give. I didn't even think twice about it. I didn't think ooo charity work. I thought, this is going to make someone's Christmas so much better and for a while, it occupied my time and to this day, I still smile when the thought of the woman opening that box on Christmas morn crosses my mind.
Cuddling: Unfortunately Christmas happens during the winter and for everyone else, there's that significant other to snuggle up with. But what about us single gals? We joke in The Bahamas that we don't have all four seasons because we don't have winter but it has been ridiculously cold this year. My solution: Bailey. Dogs are the most lovable creatures on planet earth (and I'm not saying that just because I'm not a cat person). They desire to be loved, held, petted, cuddled. They have the warmth of another person and the plus, they don't talk during movies or a good book or when you don't want them to. They just lie/sit there with you and love you. If you don't have a pet, there's always a big cushiony blanket...like the one I'm wrapped up in while writing this post.
Family Gatherings: Here we go. That's my initial thought when entering beyond the threshold of the door to a family gathering. First question, "Hey Eesh, where's that dude?" Erm... Well hello to you too, compliments of the season. It was nice seeing you again Aunt Blah. *side eyes* Can we just talk about the weather for once?
Anywho, you can spin this two ways. "Heyyyy Aunt Blah, compliments of the season. Oh, he's spending time with his family. Is that a new sweater? I absolutely adore!" Technically, you aren't lying. He/she is indeed with family. You just decided to leave out the "and never again coming to any of your family shindigs." Here's the other way. Be completely honest. "Hey Aunt Blah, compliments of the season. We separated a few weeks/months ago but aren't you happy you don't have to share my attention? By the way, that is a lovely sweater you're wearing! I absolutely adore!" Voilà, mission accomplished. Aunt Blah is (hopefully) now focused on that compliment you gave her.
New Years Eve: UGH! Even when I wasn't single, NYE was somewhat a pain in the old derriere. I felt so pressured to find something epic for us to do but many nights we ended up in bed, cuddling and talking about our goals for the upcoming year. We are basically simple people. This year, I'm still uncertain about what's going to happen. I know I want to have fun but I'm also more of a homebody so it really doesnt matter especially now that I only have myself to worry about.
I can either dance the night away with friends because I love to dance and my two closest friends are single so why not end the night in a group hug that actually means something? I can also just stay home, bake cookies, wrap up and watch some of my favorite movies with Bailey by my side. Or, I can force my brothers to stay home, hook up the Wii and deliver some major butt kicking in Mario Kart and Smash Bros.
Whatever you do, make sure it feels right to you and makes YOU happy. It's hard sometimes, I know. Especially when the memories creep up on you out of nowhere but remember, this is your time to work on creating the life you want. It's ok to be alone. It's ok to set goals/make decisions for yourself and not worry about how they will affect the other person. I hope this post helps.